I sit here in my final hour before heading to church for service, then shuttling to LAX, and then boarding a flight to Kenya. I have prayed and dreamt of this day. I have been overall very excited and overwhelmed at Gods calling and peace. But right now as I sit in my back yard waiting the last hour I feel panicky. I am not panicked about the trip or the flight. I can not quite pin point the emotions or where they are stemming from. I feel a lump in my throat, an ancy/anxious feeling, and some worry. I have been listening to praise and worship. Praying to God to calm me and center me. I don’t understand how these feelings spring on me so quickly where it changes my mood completely. I feel like I could break at any minute. I know the devil wants to attack wherever he can. I will not let him win this battle. Christ is for me, not against me. The spiritual battle is real. The depression is real and so are my fears. I will be safe. God is in control. This will be life changing and I am so overjoyed to be following in my Saviors callings. Can’t wait to get back and share my story. The story of what God has done and transformed in my life as well as the people we will. E serving in Africa!
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