Character Flaws

My therapist gave me this activity to help change the narrative of my story in regards to my character and relationships. 

Characteristics I would like to change:

• I am judgmental/quick to judge other
  
• I am irrational
• I see the negative in most things/ glass have empty
• Quick to anger
• Quick to think someone is out to get me or to doing something intentionally to hurt me so I am on the defense
• Impatient
• Black and white... I would like to be able to tolerate the grey
• I don't give people the benefit of the doubt
• Communicating in love rather than frustration/anger
• Up-tight, I would like to be easy going
  
• Need for control

Each of these will help in my tolerance and capacity to handle outcomes that I am not fond of.

 If I could slow down and not be so quick to judge Kevin or his actions there would be more communicating and less of me feeling resentful and angry. I need to learn to let things go.

If I could ease my OCD and need for control I would allow Kevin to feel like he has more of a say in things and that his participation in things matter. I think this would give him more value. I would also be more relaxed and hopefully able to let things go. Things don't always have to go my way or be done immediately.

If I could see things in a grey scale, I would not be so irritable, uptight, angry. Rather I would be able to let some things go and not be so nit-picky about unimportant things in our relationship.

If I stop and really think about the priorities, my blessings, and time frames I would be less likely to be so irrational. I could be able to sit in the moment and not always have something to say or do. This would help immensely with Kevin because he always gets frustrated because I have to do or make or change something. Learning to be content in the moment would allow for peace, more time together, slower to judge.

Me seeing things negatively first always puts a damper on things. I think if I could try to change that part of my character I would have more patience with Kevin, I would allow myself to not judge immediately, but look at the whole picture- what was influencing Kevin at the time. What is going on with Kevin? I would be more sensitive to his needs. I would not be on the defense as much, but be able to stand back and look clearly at the whole picture.

I would be happier, more at peace, and more pleasant to be around. Slowing down, taking time, looking for the positives in life would probably change a lot of our relationship. Kevin would probably feel like he could communicate without fear, approach me with ideas that I would normally put down right away, have a sense of control, feel like I have time for him, and ability to just relax with me and be.