Three Squeezes

 My mom has been asking for months for a visit from me. it has been a couple years since I have seen her and my dad/sister/family. I keep putting it off...financial reason, selfishness, my move across the united states, work.... There is never a time you should say no to family! 

I got up this morning with a text from my sister that my mom had fallen in the bathtub and was being rushed to the emergency room. My heart sank. I asked if there were any broken bones and my sister said no. I was scared, but knowing nothing was broken gave me some peace. Later she let me know there was a brain bleed. I tried to call my dad...no answer. I tried to call my husband...no answer. 

Finally my dad called. He tried to explain everything in technical and medical language  He broke when he told me the prognosis wasn't good.  my heart sank, tears streaming down my face. I was on the computer looking for a ticket to fly to Texas as I cried and cried. Within 30 minutes I was on the way to the airport. I got a message before I boarded that my mom was going into surgery.

I landed 3 1/2 hours later. My sister told me she was out f surgery, but not conscious. I lost it as I walked into her room at the ICU. My sister and I have never hugged like this before. Mom's head is wrapped and blood is draining. She is on a ventilator. Her head is wrapped in gauze. Prognosis is poor. If she wakes up the doctor believes there will be blindness and loss of mobility. I was told she had a stroke; which is what caused the fall.

I feel helpless. I am terrified. I know God is in control and I trust him. I am sitting now holding her hand, praying, and listening to worship. I believe she can feel and hear me.

Since  I was little me and my mom have had a secret hand squeeze. She would squeeze my hand three times to tell me she loved me. I would do the same in return. I have been squeezing her hand over and  over again in sets of three. I believe she can fell me telling her I LOVE YOU!

This can't be it. The doctor said she would have died if no one had found her. But they have done all they can do.