Starving for what?!!?

I am so pissed. I had a Dr appointment scheduled for today for just an annual physical. I knew i was going to be weighed so over a week ago I started restricting, then throwing up, then laxatives, and lastly diet pills. I had not had a thing to eat today and I had been taking 6-10 laxatives a day for a week. It is 30 minutes until my appointment and my doctors office calls; “doctor had to leave- we are canceling your appointment.” What the hell was all this starving for! I worked so hard to be at a decent weight for my physical. Terrified that someone would see my weight. And now!! All my work for nothing! I mean, I am happy that I dropped some weight, but for what.