Fat

I am sitting so uncomfortably in my body. I can feel the excess weight. I can feel my skin growing and stretching. I started IVF treatments and I think the medications I am taking are causing some of this. I am trying to stay calm. I am aware that if I get pregnant, I will gain weight. I am okay with this, or at least I tell myself this. But today is miserable. I hate the way I feel. I am disgusted by my size and feeling of swelling. I am not supposed to gain weight before pregnancy. Yesterday as I sat, I could feel my fat increase in my thighs, legs, face, and belly. I can't sit in this! I cringe. I try to tell myself it is okay. Maybe this is in my head. I have been told I have body dysmorphia. But how can it feel and look so real?! It makes me sick!