ED day 6

My anxiety was out of control. When I tried to talk about I began to cry and panic. I just had to stop and breathe. I was able to calm myself down to a baseline of anxiety. 

My anxiety increased when it came to meal time. I thought I was going to be okay. I froze. It really wasn't alot of food. It was a salad, tofu, avacado, and a half piece of bread. I started shaking and I could feel the panicking set it. Julia had me step out. I took my xanax and then took a few minutes and returned to dinner. I was still anxious, but able to sit and focus. I ate my 2 slices of avacado and 3 bites of tofu, but that was all I could manage. Mostly because I hate the eating in front of people. There is way to much comparison by me. I had to take an ensure suppliment. That was challenging but I was able to complete that. Somehow it feels better drinking substances than eating. 

Julia asked about my eating today. It hasn't been good. We were slammed that I didn't even realize where time went. I had my oatmeal in the morning and at 4:00 realized I hadn't eaten. I ate some mangos and blackberries but just had no appetite.