6 Ounces

I allowed myself to indulge last night. I ate artichoke dip and some animal crackers with milk. After I ate I felt overwhelmed, but I sat with the feeling and eventually was able to go to bed okay with my choice. This morning I woke up and stepped on the scale. I had gained 6 oz. I freaked. This is why I cannot deviate from my set eating plan. When I do I gain weight immediately. I am so upset with myself. It was a dumb choice to eat all that! It is not worth the feelings of today. If I eat something fatty my body immediately takes it in all as fat. I look in the mirror and am completely dissatisfied. I hate my body! I can feel my fat growing. I feel like I can feel my skin stretching and bulging with every ounce and with anything I put in my mouth. All I can think about is what I can do to lose the weight. It is all that has consumed me today. I cannot do anything. I understand within myself that this is distorted, but these few ounces have ruined my thoughts, emotions, and feelings for today.